i am getting lazy.....

and that's why i need a fix-me-up real soon. my own version of chicken soup for my soul. soon, very soon, a slap, many slaps in the face coming my way this sunday. InsyaAllah. Ya Allah, i am so looking forward to that.

i miss her so much. like meeting up a lover - the waiting is excruciating but the ending is purely sweetness. wish it could stay that way forever without the seasons segala. wishful thinking, obviously.

with maulidur rasul coming soon, i feel melancholic. like i have not done enough. so much more i need to do, so many things i want to learn tapi tu lah.....penat, malas. haizz, syaitannirrajim!! tak sudah sudah kacau aku. if there's only one thing we humans can be envy of that makhluk Allah yang membinasakan, is i wish i have that level of persistence and consistency - for the good things of course, not destruction. Nauzubillah min zalik.

having said that, the other day he said he applied for a job - in Qatar. i answered him spontaneously "you can apply, sure - but you cannot go". "aik, dulu kater okay" he said.

yup i know love, i have got you confused. i realised that all the money in this world cannot compensate the time we would have lost being apart from each other. furthermore, a wife should be by her husband's side. it is her mortal duty. it can never compensate the lost time watching your children grow up into a handsome young man and a beautiful young muslimah, insyaAllah.

so yup, if it's only for $$$$ and all the moolahs - tak payahlah. i have enough to go by even if it means i have to work for it. i seriously don't mind. love, can't you see. i want you here, the children want you here. we want our Imam with us. it's already bad enough you're gone for a week each time, ni lagik for 6months to a year!! solat is not the same when you're not the Imam, love. every moment spend with you is a moment i treasure. thank you steve tyler. *giggles*

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afiq's prefect probation period has paid off. he is now a confirmed Prefect. syabas son. abah and ibu are proud of you. hope you take this opportunity to grow into a disciplined, respectful young man. i know you love your adik tremendously. but sometimes i wish you do not take her down with your less than sensitive words, kill her enthusiasm you know. you know she is very playful and can be very imaginative at times but abah and ibu are proud of her too - she can read very well now. please abang afiq, humor her, she is after all a girl and a girl is sensitive you know. you can't deny that she brings a lot of laughter in the household, with her out-of-this world drama and expressions. this girl is so visual and spontaneously unpredictable. i love her for being her.

so much fun and laughter, it is no wonder abah and ibu seriously would like to give both of you another wonder, yet. InsyaAllah. i know both of you are anticipating over it excitedly. every night before bedtime wafa will lay beside me, with her hands held close to her chest, she will say out loud "Ya Allah, please give me a baby. i want a baby please. Please please please please please Ya Allah. I love You!!" yup, that's wafa alright. God help us, we're working on it, working on it sayangs ku.