that 2 nites of shuttling from work to darling kyn's abode in toa payoh

that 1 day shuttling from here to bintan, back to singapore and to the workshop

subhanallah, masyaallah

i thank Allah for the strength He has given me

protecting me from my own nafs and preventing me from falling into whispers of syaitan

that meeting with syaikh khalil moore (may Allah be pleased with him)

though not face to face,

but having listened intently to his speech albeit a few harmless tiny, weeny distractions (o Allah please forgive me, your humble slave) from the darlings

i am in such awe of that man

i am ashamed to be in the auditorium with syaikh khalil moore

14years after his very 1st syahadah,

just look where Allah has placed him

masyaallah,

and i look at myself

where am i going?

after 32 years....can someone just tell me where am i?

he spoke and i wrote

the more i wrote,

the more fearful i get

the more i fathom

the more further i feel from Allah

just where am i heading?????

tears were escaping but i held back in silence

as he mentioned :

i know things but not living by them

i am not living to the full potential (and this he meant in a spiritual sense)

i forgot Allah in my solat (astaghfirullah Ya Allah!)

i have got to, just got to remove any lingering sense of hypocrisy in myself

whoever treads the path, seeking knowledge,

Allah will make easy the path to paradise

a true friend will alert me to my defects

so to those whom i regard as truly friends,

syaikh khalil moore carried on :

deeds are only by intention

every person shall have what they intended for

if my migration (hijrah) is for Allah and His Messenger,

then i get Allah and His Messenger

WHAT I SEEK, I GET

so if it is the world that i seek, then it is the world that i get

subhanallah

it is Allah whom i ask to benefit me

He is my sufficiency and my best of Guidance

O Ya Allah, please guide me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~