i am not afraid to stand alone~~if Allah is by my side

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

i hate myself when i am like this

macam tauhu lembik

no mood for everything, for anything

just wanna hide under the comfort of my blanket

in my pink wall bedroom

snuggle with my babies

singing to the tune of

"wo oh kamu ketahuan, pacaran lagi.....dengan dirinya...teman baik mu..wo oh"

and that's Heiress's favourite tune of the moment

seriously,

this always happen pre and post holiday

can't wait for 27th this month,

can't wait for 21st this month

can't wait for 12th june

and oh, just couple of weeks back

we in laws and biras were talking about our planned umrah

probably in 2010 or 2011

olive ashburn urged me to save bit by bit from now

cos if finance permits, we plan to visit Baitulmaqdis, Masjidil Aqsa

insyaallah

but another side of me is yearning to fulfill the 5th Islamic pillar

i did umrah

so Haj is the next natural and obvious duty to do

abang ngah and wife have made plans to revisit the haj grounds, also in 2010 or 2011

for that i need to have 10K

something which i am sure i can achieve

but i wish my other half shares the same vision as me

i've solemnly told myself

i wish to carry out the 5th commandment before 35

ok lah, give and take before i turn 40

but how am i supposed to do it without my better half

sure, i can squeeze between abg ngah and his loyal wife

abg ngah is my mahram....no issue on that

but, afterall a mahram in a husband is definitely 100% better

i miss my time in the Holy Land

every day i pray He will open his heart

every day i pray that He will show us the way

every day i pray that He will keep me sane

that He will keep my goals stay with me

is that why i am feeling melancholic now?

a case of donuts overdose?

i should be happy, really

a friend whom i've not been in touch for many months has returned

Alhamdulillah

then why this feeling of melancholia?

25th is around the corner

it is that time of the year again

then why this feeling of melancholia?

i've made promise to Heiress

we both will be having mother daughter funtime making brownie one of these nights

repeated requests made by Heiress for a long time

i should be happy

still, why this feeling of melancholia?

why?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008