i am not afraid to stand alone~~if Allah is by my side

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Assalamualaikum bapak.

dah lamer jik tak jumpa bapak. anak bontot bapak ni rindu sangat kat bapak. tahun ni dah 17 tahun kita sambot rayer tanpa bapak. tapi jik tau bapak selalu jenguk anak-anak bapak waktu bulan ramadhan mulia ni kan. mesti bapak dah tatap wajah kedua cucu bapak kan. afiq tu ada iras muka bapak sikit tao. putihnya macam bapak. kalo wafa mesti bapak dah tau….macam maner jik waktu kecik, macam gitulah wafa kan pak? like mother like daughter yer pak? kekadang tu kesian jik dengan jorang, tak dapat kasih sayang atok. mak selalu cakap dengan jorang,

“korang kalo atok ko ader, habis mati-matian atok manjakan korang...bertuah nasib badan.”

tapi kan pak, jangan cakap cucu-cucu bapak, anak bapak yang bongsu ni pun mestilah terlebih-lebih manjanya kalo bapak ader. jik ingat lagik all those nights bapak tepuk jik tak henti henti sampailah jik terlentok lena di sisi bapak. jik peluk bapak kuat-kuat dari belakang sampai bapak takleh gerak, sampai bapak rimas…hehehe. nanti jik dah geram jik gigit bontot bapak, gigit lengan bapak. kiut kalo bapak marah, lagik2 kalo tak pakai gigi plastik bapak tu. bapak suka dancing dancing kat hall...lepak, asal boleh jer bapak joget. tak groovy langsung! bapak tau tak kiter maseh simpan gigi palsu bapak tu. kiter pun maseh simpan baju bapak yang bapak pakai waktu bapak ucapkan selamat tinggal pada dunia.

bapak, anak bapak ni tersangat rindu kat bapak. entah kenaper lebaran kali ni, terasa sangat rindu kat bapak. selalu tak macam ni sangat tau pak. raser sebak dada ni. ni semua gara-gara abg atin lah. dia jahat tau pak. dia tanyer jik, kenaper kat blog jik tak ada gambar bapak. mulernyer jik ingatkan mungkin kerana jik dah tak ingatkan bapak. astaghfirullahhaladzim! that’s not the case lah bapak. jik tak nak share bapak dengan sesaper pun.

to me, you are precious.

you are for my eyes only pak.

I love you pak.

bapak, now jik speaking london ngan bapak k. i know you will understand. kan dulu bapak ada amek kursus BEST. how proud I am of you. walaupun umur bapak waktu tu dah nak masok 60 tahun, bapak maseh belajar. bapak nyer certificates, testimony semua masih disimpan rapi kat dalam clear folder bapak. tu nanti akan jik tunjukkan pada afiq and wafa. i will show then how a dedicated man you are.

they say good men die young. they couldn’t be more right. and that makes me worry bapak for menantu bapak is a very good man. bless him yer bapak.

pak, jik mintak maaf kat bapak kerana dah lamer jik tak jenguk rumah bapak. tapi doa, al-fatehah dan kalamullah tetap mengiringi. semoga ia dapat menerangi dan luaskan rumah bapak. petang raya nanti insyaallah jik pegi rumah bapak ek. abang-abang yang lain dah pun pegi.

dulu waktu bapak still around, jik tak sempat nak beritahu bapak. you are the best father in the world pak. dunia dan akhirat.

you are everything I want my son to be. a loving husband, a doting father, a grateful son, a caring friend.

with all the love legacy you leave behind, i am certain there is so much more love for you wherever you are. i know you miss us too, very much.

you definitely miss mak the most. your awesome wife and loyal partner. the feeling is mutual indeed bapak.

don’t you worry bapak, we will make sure you are safe and sound. kiter adik beradik tidak akan putus sedekahkan bekalan untuk bapak supaya bapak senang dan lapang di sana.

for all the sacrifices you have made, for all the blood and sweat, this is the least we can do for you pak. but this least will go far kan pak, i just know. for you have educated us well bapak.

you have raised us good bapak.

bapak, you appeared in my dream months ago before i went to the holy land. i take it as a good sign, bapak. they say mimpi is nothing but permainan tidur. but it is very real to me bapak for all of these 17 years, you only appeared twice in my sleep.

i understand what the dream meant.

jik sayang bapak.

bapak pergi terlalu awal. it’s not fair kan bapak. anak bongsu bapak baru 14 tahun. bapak, how long more must we stay apart?

jik rindu bapak.

Al-Fatehah.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007