i am not afraid to stand alone~~if Allah is by my side

Friday, October 19, 2007

.::when death becomes me::.

death will come a step closer tomorrow

a clear reminder from Him to me to prepare myself for my departure

have i prepared myself adequately for angel of death?

will he appear before me all smiles

will he be carrying a heavier than steel whip with him?

it seems now adequate is simply not good enough

life

what is life

who do we live life for

death

what is death

what is my death going to be like

i am lacking in so many many ways

there are so many things i want to do and have not accomplished yet

rectification, repentance

mr manager asked me this question last week

"g, have you ever thought of upgrading yourself?"

"go for courses of your interest?"

alone by myself, i always think about upgrading myself

.....spiritually

yes, i would love to go for courses

.......i want to set my ko-ko-la, makhraj and tajwid right

then i want to understand the words i have been reading

then i want to be close to HIM

as close as i can get

so that one fine day in the future

at the vast field of mahsyar

where resurrection of all beings are imminent

He will make it easy for reunion of father and daughter

mother and daughter

sister and brothers

sister and sister

i want to achieve all that

i need it badly

in answering the manager's proposal

i am one contented woman

fulfilled

i am happy where i am in the lack lustre working world

i am not competitive by nature

not when it comes to career

silently i whisper to myself

i am aiming for a much more promising career

one which you will never comprehend, mr manager

tomorrow a year older

one year after thirty

at the thought i shudder

what have i prepared for eternity

Friday, October 19, 2007